Loving is not the same as spoiling

Your lovely and adorable toddler will always make you surprised. She learns and creates new things every day. This makes you miss her so much when you have to go to the office or even to the grocery. Many parents explain that they even cannot concentrate at work because they remember the little princess at home and wondering what she is doing. Missing your toddler is normal but you should not act too much. The facts show that parents usually show their love and miss trough spoiling the toddlers. They do and buy whatever the toddlers say simply because these parents feel guilty for leaving the toddlers at home. This is completely wrong.

Loving is not the same as spoiling. Loving means you give what your toddler needs properly. When she does something good, she deserves to get rewards. On the other hand, your toddler should be punished when she does something bad. Reward and punishment should be balanced to make your toddler learn about good behavior as early as possible. However, it is forbidden for you to give physical punishment. It does not work at all to punish her. It will make her imitate what you have done to others. There are many educative punishments you can apply to your toddler.

Never feel guilty too much for punishing or timing out your toddler. These are the steps you will keep doing as the part of loving your toddler. Both you and your couple have to agree the systems applied at home. In case you hire a nanny, you need to make sure that the nanny has the same path with you in loving your toddler. No more chance for spoiling her because it gives negative result in your toddler’s future.

Parenting the toddler needs cooperative and coordination

You must be very happy for having such a lovely toddler. She is the adorable one that you want to kiss every time. In parenting your toddler, you and your couple have to be in the same path. It means you have to apply the same parenting mode and style. Some people think it is impossible because mother and father have different characters and style. Applying the same ideas and methods seems to be impossible.

Actually, it is much possible and easy to apply. You need to discuss many things with our couple from the simple things until the more complicated ones. For example, you and your couple need to be cooperative in handling your picky eater toddler. Many toddlers avoid vegetable on their diet and choose to have sweets and chocolate. To face this situation you need to be cooperative with your couple that both of you will eat vegetables in front of your toddler. She will look at both of you enjoying the delicious veggie. By doing this she will gradually follow your habit. Sweets and chocolate can be given once or twice in a week, or as a gift when your toddler has done noble things. You and your couple have to follow the rules which have been agreed before.

Once you or your couple breaks the rules, she will understand that the rules are breakable. Even the simple things like saying “thank you” and “sorry” need to be put in the rules. Both of you have to explain when and why she needs to say these words. Moreover, discuss the parenting style and ideas seriously, so that both you will find the parenting formula applied for your toddler. Besides, you need to plan the proper rewards and punishment as the consequences. Also, do not forget to inform your parenting style with the toddler’s aunt, uncle, and grandparents. By doing this, you have started to invest something good for your toddler’s future.

Avoid anger in handling cranky toddler

Where ever and whenever you go with your toddler beside you, both of you will be the people’s attention. They love to see cute toddler especially the ones with good behavior. But of course, you will feel that educating your toddler to behave nicely is not easy task. Many times she will be a little bit cranky and does not want to communicate to you. It is relatively normal and happens in many families. Commonly, parents will got angry and panic when everything does not work as what they have planned before. Being angry is the biggest no no in parenting your toddler.

If you are angry, your toddler will automatically think that anger is the correct way to solve problems. Your toddler is getting cranky perhaps because she cannot express what she wants. Her vocabulary is limited and she does not know what to say. So, she gets frustrated. What you are supposed to do first is giving a big hug and talking calmly. Say your words one by one to soothe her feeling. In case she keeps yelling or crying, you should keep silent. Your toddler will slowly finish her crying.

However, if she gets cranky because of asking something improper such as too many sweets, toys, and others, it is better for you to try to switch her attention to something more educative or her favorite items. This may work for several times. In addition, you need to be consistent. It means when you say no for certain things since they give negative effects, you have to keep say no. Once you say yes, your toddler will get crankier. Giving time out will be fine and you will see how it works after applying for several times. It does not mean that you are doing something bad, but you are on the way of educating your toddler. Keep being positive and of course, no more anger.

Being your teens’ friend is a good option

As parents, of course you cannot have total control on your children especially your teens. You need to work and do other activities. If you are too busy and cannot manage your time for the family, you are the one who will get the disadvantages. In this stage, your teens need you more because they are on the transition era from the children to the adult. Being teenagers makes them need more support and mentoring. Remember the time when you were teenager and how your parents treated you. Today, you have to promise yourself that you are going to be better than your parents.
Then, what you should do? A good option is being your teens’ friend even their close friend. If you think it is impossible, you are wrong. Being your teens’ friend is possible as long as you have good communication skill. Why don’t you go online and see what films do the teens like nowadays? What books are popular? What topics are good? What songs are commonly sung? Who are the teens’ idols? What games are interesting? What sports are challenging? What clothes are trending today? And surely there are many more questions. Those are the basic teens’ interest that you should know for the conversation topic. When your teens know about that, they will feel you are beside them and be their friends.

Most teenagers do not like to go or hang out with their parents. They feel it is not cool anymore. So, this is your duty to make hanging out become nice and cool. Why don’t you ask your teen and his friends to go camping on weekend? Or you can ask them to go to the nearest lake and fish there. Outdoor activities will be so lovely and make you tighten the bond between you and your teen. Additionally, you can also know your teen’s friends and communicate to their parents. Another plus of course! If your teen like cooking, ask her and her friends to drop by and enjoy the favorite family dishes. In this case, you have lots of ideas to make sure you are one of your teens’ friends.

Make your teens trust you

When you read newspaper or magazines, you should notice to the section which explains about teens and their world. It has to be done especially for you who have children and teens. Your children will be teens in a couple years to come, so that you have to start searching what happen to the teens lately. Of course, if you have teens, you are supposed to read more sources about teens’ world. The information will avoid you from getting trouble in parenting your teens. Mostly, you will compare your teens and your teenager era. Yes, basically teenagers are the same. They want to be recognize as adult and grow quickly, rebel the home regulation you have made, do not want to be restricted in doing something, fall in love, go dating, beautify themselves, dress like adult, etc.

However, the era is different. You cannot treat your teens exactly the same as your parents treated you two or three decades ago. So, you need to adjust yourself to make sure you are on the same path with your teens. One key that you never forget is having regular and qualified communication. Let them state their opinion towards certain matter and choose the things they like and want to do. As the role model for your teens, you need to have good communication with your parents. They will see how well you talk and how close you with your parents. Since you have been in the teens’ position before, it does not mean that you know everything about their world. Keep talking and discussing and be their friends. In case a problem appears, do not judge negatively before you think wisely and see the root of the problem. This is the way your teens will respect you.

If you have personal problem that turns your life negatively, try to solve your problem as soon as possible. Your life will affect your teens’ life and psychological side significantly. They should recognize you as positive person, so they will have positive point of view toward you. Remember, your teens will automatically look for you as the support base. You are the one who can be trusted by your teens.